Satire Archives - https://www.cuindependent.com/category/opinion/satire/ The independent student voice of CU Boulder. Fri, 12 Feb 2021 06:15:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1 CU Bluffs: A love letter to my zoom professor https://www.cuindependent.com/2021/02/11/cu-bluffs-love-letter-to-professor/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-love-letter-to-professor Fri, 12 Feb 2021 06:15:43 +0000 https://www.cuindependent.com/?p=123510 As a student at Zoom University, I've grown a deep love for my professor. Thanks to Zoom, Valentine’s Day will finally be complete. By Vayle LaFehr.

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]]> CU Bluffs: Measurements to help you keep six feet of distance https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/11/19/measurements-six-feet-distance/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=measurements-six-feet-distance Fri, 20 Nov 2020 00:50:45 +0000 https://www.cuindependent.com/?p=121474 Here are the best methods to social distance as approved and recommended by Boulder County. These methods will enable you to become a social distancing expert. By Jasleen Batra

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]]> CU Bluffs: CU sorority Alpha Alpha Alpha wins award for “Most Feminist” https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/10/06/cu-bluffs-sorority-wins-most-feminist/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-sorority-wins-most-feminist Wed, 07 Oct 2020 03:37:53 +0000 https://www.cuindependent.com/?p=120253 Feminist sororities like Alpha Alpha Alpha are leading the way for women's liberation. Have no fear — with Greek life, gender equality is here. By Vayle Lafehr

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]]> CU Bluffs: CU basketball knocks off Duke to win National Championship (in a perfect world) https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/04/12/cu-bluffs-cu-wins-national-championship/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-cu-wins-national-championship Sun, 12 Apr 2020 18:36:24 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=116392 In a perfect world, the 2020 NCAA March Madness tournament would have occurred. Here's how we at CUI sports imagine it would've gone. By Jack Carlough

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]]> CU Bluffs: How to date during a pandemic https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/04/10/dating-during-a-pandemic/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dating-during-a-pandemic Sat, 11 Apr 2020 03:44:16 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=116382 With the endless benefits of online dating, this pandemic will make finding the love of your life easier than ever before. By Vayle LaFehr

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]]> CU Bluffs: Top 6 substitutes for toilet paper https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/04/05/cu-bluffs-substitutes-toilet-paper/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-substitutes-toilet-paper https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/04/05/cu-bluffs-substitutes-toilet-paper/#respond Mon, 06 Apr 2020 01:48:46 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=116170 Toilet paper aisles are going empty and poopers are getting desperate. Here are six thrifty TP solutions to get you through the pandemic. By Alex Mumm

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]]> https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/04/05/cu-bluffs-substitutes-toilet-paper/feed/ 0 CU Bluffs: New report shows everyone you love secretly hates you https://www.cuindependent.com/2020/02/23/everyone-you-love-hates-you/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=everyone-you-love-hates-you Mon, 24 Feb 2020 03:07:45 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=113760 It turns out all of your insecurities are true. Literally no one likes you. By Alex Mumm

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]]> CU Bluffs: Anarchy club calls first meeting to order https://www.cuindependent.com/2019/12/04/cu-bluffs-anarchy-club/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-anarchy-club Thu, 05 Dec 2019 02:39:44 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=111309 Some students are tired of law and order, so they formed a club to talk about it. By Alex Mumm

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]]> CU Bluffs: CU announces initiative to become nation’s top party school https://www.cuindependent.com/2019/11/10/cu-party-school/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-party-school Mon, 11 Nov 2019 06:41:42 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=110067 CU Boulder has fallen off of the top party school rankings. The president of the university wants to change that. By Alex Mumm

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]]> CU Bluffs: Passive voice used by CU freshman https://www.cuindependent.com/2019/10/29/cu-bluffs-passive-voice/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cu-bluffs-passive-voice Tue, 29 Oct 2019 18:02:06 +0000 http://cuindependent.com/?p=108900 Passive voice cannot be detected by students at CU Boulder, which is angering professors. By Alex Mumm

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