It was quiet outside Shooters Bar and Grill. A haze from the wildfire traced the outlines of the lights on Walnut St. and the smell of smoke was thick in the air.
On Tuesday night, scantily-clad cocktail waitresses dressed as referees in zebra stripes handed out free samples of Red Stag whiskey before the match. In the area that is usually occupied by Shooters’ signature electronic bull there was a smaller-than-usual wrestling ring set up.
Mitch Herren, a senior advertising major, said he was impressed.
“I feel like midget wrestling is probably the coolest event I’ve ever been to because the stage is just absolutely hysterical,” Herren said.
It was not just an event for students. The crowd ran the gamut of Boulder residents, from students and grad students, to over-the-hill professionals with thinning patches of gray hair on the tops of their heads.
Yu Takahashi, a 24-year-old aerospace engineering student, said he found the event to be something unique and unavailable in his home country of Japan.
“It’s awesome to be here because it is, like, a once in a lifetime experience,” Takahashi said. “No way I could see this in Japan, so it’s good to be here and see this kind of event.”
A self-identified midget entered the ring dressed in a black tank-top with tattoos on his arms and one across the arch of his back. On his arms he wore black Nike and Under Armour sweatbands. The impression was that this was a little person who was not to be messed with.
He walked around the ring, testing the elasticity of the ropes and the integrity of the posts by climbing to the top of one, then jumping forcefully down onto the red canvas floor with a loud thump. Everything seemed to be up to his standards.
Joe Havel, a senior biological sciences major, said he found the event to be an extraordinary occurrence.
“It’s WWE meets ‘Honey I Shrunk the Kids,” Havel said. “Aside from the cover charge, it’s a fantastic evening at Shooters, where class is always number one.”
The crowd grew quiet as the lights went down. A man behind the DJ booth began to talk as a cloud of white smoke dusted the ring.
The first match of the night featured The Kid vs. J-Mazing. It began with a dance so they could size each other up. Then it proceeded into a merciless beat-down delivered by J-Mazing. The Kid got thrown out of the ring at one point, and got back in by using an object from the crowd to hit J-Mazing square on his head.
J-Mazing didn’t let this stand, however, and retaliated when The Kid tried to deliver a hit off the ropes by choke slamming him to the ground. Taking advantage of a moment when The Kid was severely shaken up, J-Mazing reached into the crowd and grabbed an aluminum trash can, then proceeded to slam it into The Kid’s back. After slamming The Kid’s head into the back of the trash can he brought the can over his head in the same way you would trap a spider in a jar.
It did not look good for The Kid, but when a helping hand from the crowd handed him a plank, he used it to hit J-Mazing in the head. This rocked him well enough to give The Kid the opportunity for the pin, with which he took and won the match.
Next came Bull Dog vs. Ricky Benjamin. Bull Dog started strong, treating Ricky Benjamin like a rag-doll who he repeatedly kicked in the testicles. Unfortunately this battle left the ring, and proceeded out of view. Glimmers of another trash can and screams from the bar suggested that one of them was getting his head slammed into the Shooters bar.
Eventually they made it back into the ring where Ricky Benjamin somehow came to possess a baseball bat. He used this to clobber Bull Dog’s head, and threw it down when he thought he could get the pin. He did not succeed and the match went on. Bull Dog showed constant signs of disrespect for the referee and this is probably why the match ended in a quick three count to give Ricky Benjamin the win.
Intermission started and the man behind the DJ booth announced that anyone could get a picture taken with the wrestlers. It was $5 for a picture with your own camera and $10 for a Polaroid with theirs.
They were about ready to start it up again, but one of the owners from Shooters instructed them to wait until more people showed up. It was around 11 p.m., and Shooters, as well as many other bars in the Pearl St. area, don’t really get rolling until around 11:30 p.m.
After intermission came the tag team match. Early on, one of the highlights was J-Mazing sticking his groin into Ricky Benjamin’s face. It was an intense, blood-fueled battle to the finish that served the purpose of raising animosity among the wrestlers so they had the necessary blood-lust for the final round. Every little man for himself.
It started with Bull Dog and J-Mazing in the ring. Bull Dog threw J-Mazing over his shoulder and carried him around the ring slamming his head into all four of the posts. Ricky Benjamin was the next one in the ring, and he and Bull Dog decided to team up to deliver the beat-down on J-Mazing. Their alliance continued once The Kid entered the ring as well. It quickly turned into an orgy of fists flying about the ring too fast to know whose fist was hitting whose face.
Ricky Benjamin dropped J-Mazing into a back-breaker, which debilitated him enough to pin J-Mazing, making him the first one out. Then Ricky Benjamin got teamed up on by The Kid and Bull Dog, and before long he was out as well. Running on nothing but heart and anger, The Kid used the momentum to pin Bull Dog and emerge the big winner of the night.
After the event ended, it was announced there was going to be a wet t-shirt contest, but most of the crowd slowly began to file out.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Seth Gitner at Seth.firstname.lastname@example.org.