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Masturbation. It’s a topic we tend to step over lightly, only joking about the guys doing it.
It took some shock value in a personal experience for me to realize that this is a natural thing that guys and the ladies should feel comfortable doing.
Now I’m not the kind of girl who snoops through her boyfriend’s texts and e-mails. But when I’m given permission to use his laptop, it’s free game. So when I went to the search bar to type in “youtube,” and Youporn pops up first, I was a bit taken aback.
A girl does not want to think of her boyfriend the same way as any other guy. A boyfriend isn’t supposed to burp and fart and scratch himself in front of her. Guys are the ones who spend their evenings on websites like SeeMyGirlfriend.com and Upskirtpetites.com, not our boyfriends.
And then it hit me: I was getting upset over something that I can do just as easily. Masturbation and the use of Internet porn is a totally normal thing that everybody does to explore their sexuality, so we shouldn’t be upset when we find traces on our man’s computer.
Sam Tucker, a 20-year-old sophomore finance major, said he doesn’t worry about upsetting his girlfriend by looking at pornography.
“A lot of girls would be upset over their boyfriends watching porn,” Tucker said. “In my situation, she’s way chill about it. She knows I look sometimes, so it’s not a big deal.”
Maybe it’s because even talking about masturbation seems so taboo that our generation has yet to accept it as something that everybody has the option of doing. When conversation does take place about masturbation, it’s usually negative.
Often times, masturbation is incorrectly associated with feelings of disapproval. Girls quickly jump to the conclusion that the only reason their partners masturbate with Internet porn is because of a flaw on their part: that they aren’t sexy enough, or aren’t turning him/her on anymore.
In reality, masturbation is both normal and beneficial. According to an article featured on Go Ask Alice, Columbia University’s health and wellness website, (http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0539.html) masturbation provides an outlet for individuals to get to enjoy their own body. It’s all about sex-positivity.
Masturbation allows both men and women to familiarize with their physicality, learn their likes and dislikes and share that with one another. Women can feel comfortable enjoying a sexual experience without someone else in the bedroom. Masturbation is positive self-exploration.
It’s no shocker that men take their sex lives in their own hands when they choose their own masturbation material. The power goes both ways, however, and women should play around with it too.
So who cares if your lover is participating in some private extra-curricular activities? Let’s join in on the fun, rather than worry about it.
And besides, if you’re in a really playful mood, there’s always mutual masturbation.
Katelin Holloway, a 22-year-old theatre BFA, said she watches pornography to stimulate her own arousal, as well as give her relationship a boost.
“The type of erotica I watch depends on my mood,” Holloway said. “I find that watching pornography makes me feel good and also helps my relationship in giving us ideas, which is why I watch it with my boyfriend a lot of the time.”
Pornography isn’t something to be afraid of, and neither is masturbation. Girls shouldn’t be overwhelmed by the thought of surfing the web for multimedia masturbation tips.
Tucker said he recommends utilizing the freebies of the Internet also.
“I watch free porn,” Tucker said. “It’s the best porn. Very easy.”
Masturbation is a normal and empowering thing. And boys shouldn’t get to have all the fun.
“It’s something everybody does,” Holloway said.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Lauren Archuletta at Lauren.email@example.com.