Ever run on an indoor track? Better question: ever feel masochistic? If you answered yes to the first question then by default I know what you answered for the second.
Just when people thought running was brutal enough, some genius decided to go ahead and make a series of 160-meter laps inside and call it a track. Personally, I would rather run in the harsh elements and away from bears (just as an aside, be cautious when running up Flagstaff Mountain because you may run into bears and/or mountain lions). But for those of you who like to stay warm and dry when running, the indoor track is a Godsend.
The Rec. center offers such an outlet to get your workout in. Located above the basketball courts are several lanes on a banked track that students have been taking advantage of for years. Ten laps are equivalent to a mile, but a word of caution: running countless laps around a tiny track will deteriorate your mind.
As a runner who has been through this mind-numbing experience countless times, I have developed a method to stay sane. Just simply think of random things each lap to keep you distracted and on track to finishing the workout. Here are a few things to think about during your time running circles around the next guy or girl. (I’ve included some random facts that I’ve heard over the years and haven’t verified them.)
Lap 1: How easy this is?
Lap 2: Would I rather fast for two days or not speak for a week?
Lap 3: When a shark eats food that it can’t digest (like a turtle shell or tin can), it can vomit by thrusting its stomach out its mouth then pulling it back in.
Lap 4: The average 4-year-old child asks over 400 questions a day. (Currently I’m having trouble coming up with 20 things to list.)
Lap 5: If I had one drink for each lap I would be drunk by now.
Lap 6: To escape the grip of a crocodile’s jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
Lap 7: I wonder if that cute guy/girl in class will talk to me tomorrow
Lap 8: What would I be doing now if I weren’t running?
Lap 9: Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
Lap 10: Ten laps to the mile is a little ridiculous.
Lap 11: Tupac or Biggie?
Lap 12: Name every state in New England.
Lap 13: Now their capitals.
Lap 14: What would the Dos Equis spokesperson (the “most interesting man in the world”) think of my weekend plans?
Lap 15: The number of hours I’d be on a plane if I went from Denver to Egypt.
Lap 16: What would my weekend look like if the “most interesting man in the world” planned it?
Lap 17: If I had one drink for each lap … let’s not find out.
Lap 18: Choose my top three restaurants or bars in Boulder.
Lap 19: After President Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, a new word entered the Japanese language. Bushusuru means “to do the Bush thing,” or to publicly vomit.
Lap 20: Where is my next run going to be?
Check back next Friday for more tips and tricks to staying in shape!
Contact CU Independent Managing Editor Adrian Kun at Adrian.firstname.lastname@example.org.