(CU Independent file/ Lauren Walter)
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OPINION-The 2009-10 college football season was one of the most dramatic in recent memory.
Jam-packed with sexy scandals, this past fall provided us with some classic stories, including secret romantic meals, relationships gone awry, and hostage situations.
The cornucopia of extracurricular activity left fans with crushed dreams and sour stomachs, as well as severely deflated (foot)balls.
And then there were the games.
Being a CU fan, by the time week two rolled around I almost found myself opting for the afternoon soap operas over the proverbial Saturday morning cartoon that was Buffalo football.
Naturally, it only made sense as weeks rolled by to begin to see similarities between real life drama and that which is scripted.
So without further ado, it’s time to recap the story lines from the past year that are most fit for daytime television (or film)!
The Last Supper
In this episode, Oklahoma State standout wide receiver Dez Bryant, a preseason All-American, finds out the hard way that secrets don’t make friends: What seemed like an innocent dinner date with NFL Hall of Fame player Deion Sanders turned out in the end to be just an innocent dinner date.
Where Bryant fumbled the ball was in lying when questioned by the NCAA about said rendezvous. So rather than offering to pick up the check, officials slapped Bryant with a suspension for the rest of the 2009-10 season, which prompted his declaring for the NFL draft.
Moral of the story? Know the rulebook!
Although this time next year Bryant will be soaking up in a hot tub with his millions, it is important for all current and future student-athletes (and people in general) to know exactly what they can and can’t do. After all, who could spend some intimate one-on-one time with “Prime Time” (bonus: also played baseball!) and NOT subsequently yearn to spill every last detail? (e.g. whether or not the guy prefers a salad fork, will hail you a cab at the end of the night, or at the very least call back the next day)
He’d makegiddy schoolgirls out of most of us.
How to Lose a Recruit in 10 Days
So it isn’t your classic story of romance dying amid a series of misunderstandings, as the film reference-title would suggest. Nor is there any such climactic bet involved that would, for instance, allow Dan Hawkins to keep his job (that we know of).
Regardless, the Darrell Scott story was indeed a short-lived fairy tale that many of us saw, just like a real-life relationship between stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, as too good to be true.
Moral of the story? Keep your standards low!
Well, not rock-bottom low, but certainly working the 3-4 star prospect talent pool of future recruiting classes would net more valuable catches than, say, simply pearl diving into the 5-star deep end.
Fact is, CU football has struggled to return to prominence since 2001 and putting all of our eggs into one basket, even as fans, would only serve to build short-term excitement manifested into long-term disappointment.
And contrary to popular myth, a single blue chip player does not make a national championship team, not in football. Heck, sometimes a blue chip player can turn out to be a bust, mere fool’s gold (ironically, the title of yet another Hudson-McConaughey collaboration… and a bust, at that!) The goal for CU at the present should be to continue finding its diamonds in the rough, rather than falling for highly-touted one-night stands.
And just as Kate ended up with the right guy in the end, we too will one day find a McConaughey to call our very own… even if we have to date A-Rod and that lead singer of the Black Crowes.”
Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number
And it ain’t just an Aaliyah song.
Following his controversial move from head coach at Tennessee to the same position at USC, Lane Kiffin grabbed as many headlines by simply offering a scholarship and receiving a verbal commitment from a quarterback. That player was 13-year-old David Sills. That’s right, 13.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12…
Setting aside, for now, the typical sign-toting, morally-grounded fan’s response of: What? it is important to acknowledge that parents will always have the final say as to what sort of expectations that their child should have placed upon them.
It just so happens that these particular parents do not see their son as being too young to take part in the media circus. And Kiffin, despite briefly arousing the media’s attention, did not engage (this time) in any illegal recruiting tactics. Instead, the result was likely coaches around the country whispering to their assistants, Can we really do that? Under the current system, there is no legal controversy to be found.
Moral of the story? The NCAA should probably set a minimum-age standard within which recruiting can take place.
The Buffalo Hunter
I’m reminded of the hostage scene in this seminal 1970s war film, featuring the 5-star acting talents of Robert DeNiro, Christopher Walken and Meryl Streep.
DeNiro and Walken play U.S. infantrymen in the Vietnam War. They are captured and placed in a POW camp, where they, along with others, are forced to play Russian roulette with a hand gun, a game in which only one bullet is left in the chamber of the gun. The chamber is then spun at random, and the reluctant contestants take turns pointing the gun to their temples and pulling the trigger. Can you guess how it ends? While this happens, their captors excitedly place wagers on whether the gun will render death, or simply click.
Moral of the story? I’m reminded of a packed house of CU football fans in the stands at a home game. Can you guess how it ends?
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Gino Figlio at Gino.figlio@colorado.edu.
