Three young women huddle over candles in memory of a loved one lost to suicide. (CU Independent/Adam Alberti)
Grieving can be a difficult process, but having the support of others may help.
A HOPE Lights the Night vigil was held at Boulder Band Shell Thursday night to remember those who have been lost to suicide.
Dorothy Rupert, former high-school counselor and keynote speaker at the vigil, says she still can’t think about a student who committed suicide years ago without a rush of emotion.
“No matter how long ago it was, I can’t think about it without getting tight in my throat,” Rupert said.
The gathering was co-sponsored by CU and Boulder County’s HOPE Coalition.
About 50 attendees lit candles and wore yellow ribbons in honor of family members and friends who have passed.
Amy Robertson, the suicide-prevention coordinator for CU, said the night was the conclusion of a series of events to acknowledge National Suicide Prevention Week, which began Sept. 6.
“Even though it can be the source of pain, it’s not something you have to avoid if it’s still impacting your life,” Robertson said of the vigil.
In addition to providing a time for the Boulder community to come together and remember those they have lost, she said the gathering was an effort to end the stigmatization of suicide so that the community could openly grieve for those that they had lost.
Rupert expressed a similar sentiment in her speech.
“The survivors of those that have committed suicide don’t like to mention it because of great stigma,” Rupert said. “But tonight, we throw off the cloak of secrecy.”
Those who lose family or friends to suicide often have trouble grieving, Rupert said, because they feel uncomfortable discussing a cause of death which is often associated with depression or substance abuse.
Although the HOPE Coalition was established four years ago, this is the first candlelight vigil they have held. Susan Marine, a coalition member, was the one to suggest it.
“I was at a state meeting for suicide prevention, and it just came up how September was Suicide Prevention Month,” Marine said. “It was just an idea that came to mind that would be a wonderful way to remember those that have committed suicide and to support those that have survived.”
Marine lost two children, 25 and 34 years old, to suicide. But she said she was ready to see the vigil get underway.
“The HOPE Coalition is really a wonderful group of people,” Marine said. “We had some big contributions from everyone.”
Kathy Valentine, chairperson for the HOPE Coalition, said the organization is simply a team of all of Boulder County’s mental health organizations and other concerned institutions, including Boulder Valley School District, Parent Engagement Network, Colie’s Closet, CU’s Counseling and Psychological Services and parents of suicide victims.
According to Valentine, the coalition had only hosted gatekeeper events before, which were educational suicide-prevention seminars for anyone who works often or closely with other people. Undiagnosed depression is the leading cause of suicide, Valentine said.
Valentine explained the importance of community to the coalition’s efforts.
“We knew people at CU, so why not come together as a community and do some collective efforts?” she asked.
Robertson said CU and the coalition intended for the night to be not only a time to recognize those who had been lost, but also an opportunity for people to come together.
Especially when looking at how to prevent suicide, Robertson said, “Community is the antidote to despair.”
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Ana Romano at analisa.romano@colorado.edu.
