Things that can suck about CU
With the end of the school year nigh approaching, this editor would like to take a step back and admire some of the things that have sucked about CU this year. Please be aware that I am going to be address some fairly trivial issues here, but my goal here is not to depress you…well, not too much. If you’re looking for an article ranting about Bruce Benson, you will be disappointed and probably become unreasonably angry. Maybe you should go see someone about that.
And now without further ado…
The Buff Bus
There was a time when I was too lazy and incompetent to visit the RTD Web site and look up the schedules for buses that picked up by my house, so every morning I would meander a few blocks over to Williams Village and take the Buff Bus to class. That changed quickly after I found myself fuming with frustration each morning. Often I’d find myself sitting in an idling bus for periods of five to ten minutes watching time tick closer and closer to the beginning of class. I’d look out the window and see a Buff Bus coming down 30th Street and think to myself, “Alright! As soon as that bus gets here, we can finally get moving.” But of course, I was wrong. The general trend seemed to be letting two or three buses pile up at Will Vill, and then the driver might think about maybe taking off. At this point, class has been in session for five to ten minutes. You can imagine the rage I must have felt. I mean, here I am, a seemingly competent student trying to get to class on time using a bus that has no other purpose than to ferry students to and from CU, and I still show up late to class.
The lesson here is that the RTD is the clear way to go if you’re someone who doesn’t have the time in the morning to sit on the Buff bus and twiddle your thumbs. The 203 and the 225 come regularly up Baseline Rd. and travel around the perimeter of campus, which is particularly useful if you have class in Hale or the Armory. They’re even so kind as to print little schedules that give you decently accurate times of when the two buses will be picking up at 30th and Baseline. This spring in our mandatory student fees, we paid $53.44 for that little plastic sheath and sticker that says we can ride almost every bus in Boulder, so why not use it?
CU on the Web
In the Bible, it is said that those who do not make it into Heaven will be forced to wait outside the gates for an eternity of “wailing and gnashing of teeth.” What the Bible doesn’t mention is that these souls are not agonizing over denial of passage into the kingdom, but rather because they’ve been trying to log into their CULearn all evening with no success. Simply put, access to CU’s various Internet services has been abysmal this spring. No matter, though. I don’t really need to access most of that information anyway. Why would I need to read my e-mails or access my courses’ Web pages? It all began with the CULink issues at the beginning of the year, with people not being able to log on to access their e-mails, and although that problem was eventually fixed, other SNAFUs are still popping up. People are still having problems accessing CULearn from off campus even when they have CU’s virtual private network running on their computers.
Let’s face it. There are thousands of people who go to this university, many of whom are not very computer literate. That being the case, it is in CU’s best interest to make its Internet services as accessible and user-friendly as possible. It’s understandable that CU won’t be able to provide tech support for everyone having problems with their Internet, but when every single other Web site is working correctly except for CULink or CUConnect, then there’s something other than user error afoot here. I don’t know that much about this sort of technical stuff, so I couldn’t offer CU a remedy for this problem. For students and faculty, however, I can suggest using a third party e-mail client like Mozilla Thunderbird so that you can at least access your e-mail when CU’s Internet services are acting up. But you might still overlook some great CU Link e-mails that come through.who knows, you might have just won 500,000 pounds from the UK National Lottery! Thank God your spam filter didn’t catch that one or you might be missing out!
The UMC
If your idea of a good time is swerving your way through hordes of students and people passing out little slips of paper in support of [insert anything here] cause, then the UMC is the place for you. If you’re like me, though, you probably get a little upset every day when walking into Alferd Packer becomes a dismal chore. Walking in to the UMC is a chore in itself if it’s a nice day out since you’ll have to think of a new excuse not to spend a “minute” of your time handing out personal information and money to strangers with clipboards and green windbreakers. Still, the various groups that congregate at tables along the main drag of the UMC’s northern facing section are the worst. I don’t have anything against people who have a passion for some cause; I actually think it’s quite noble. Sometimes, though, I’m in a hurry, or I’m tired, or I’m trying to listen to the ranting of my inner monologue. Sometimes, I’m just genuinely not interested in some obscure author giving a speech, or what Jesus would have thought about my dating habits in the 21st century. Regardless of the reason, I’d just like my personal space to be respected and to not be bombarded with little slips of paper that are just going into the trash or recycle bin anyway. Walk outside the UMC any given day, and you’re likely to find at least one those little scraps of paper on the sidewalk somewhere.
Avoiding the UMC is an easy task if you don’t mind a little extra walking. All you need to do is go to the Hill instead. For $8.81, you can get a sandwich, a drink, and a piece of fruit or chips from Alferd Packer or Baby Doe’s. For the same amount of money, you can go to the Hill and have access to a wider variety of food that someone will prepare for you while you just sit around and wait. You won’t have to run the gauntlet of worthy causes, and you can get away from campus for a little while until the dreadful reminder of imminent class surfaces in the back of your mind.
The Writing on the Stall
This one is for the guys since I don’t frequent the ladies’ room enough to really know what they’re writing on their walls. Quite frankly, if it’s anything like what gets written on the walls in the men’s room, I’d be happier not knowing because I need to believe that women won’t stoop to that level of lunacy. Instead of making blanket statements about this subject, I’m simply going to describe an instance of bathroom wall idiocy that I encounter on a nearly daily basis:
In the men’s room on the first floor of Ketchum Arts and Sciences, this is written in one of the stalls: “9/11 was an in side job.” Oh man. Oh my god! Oh wow! My eyes are opened, dude! I, like, totally get it now! It makes so much sense! Why wouldn’t 9/11 have been an inside job? Somebody wrote this in response: “Inside is one word, dumbass.” Somebody alert the English department. We’ve got a true literary critic on our hands here – someone who really understands the important issues! The follow up to that: “Why should we listen to you, you f***ing pedant?” and then “Be less angry!” You can almost feel the rage boiling your insides.
This isn’t even the worst of them. A trip to the can in Norlin Library will yield similarly infuriating results probably involving the word “fag” or “homo” (because those insults are reserved for only the highest tiers of social commentary.and the locker rooms of high school football teams). I haven’t even mentioned art in the stalls, which is few and far between and generally depicts horribly disfigured penises, remarkably well-endowed but poorly drawn women, and pot leaves. Quite frankly, it’s a little worrisome to have to fear becoming dumber simply because nature calls.
What can we do to combat this moronic drivel? There are really only two solutions. One, we need to outlaw pens and pencils. Or, two, we need to install computer touch screens in every stall. If you want to leave a comment, you have to login with your student ID and post your name and e-mail address. Then, at the end of the day, someone goes through each stall and critiques the comments. Those failing to pass the muster of acceptably intelligent commentary will be immediately expelled and fined exorbitantly. This is the only way we’re going to fix this problem.
Well, there you have it. I could probably go on, but I won’t. For now, I hope you spend the rest of the semester pondering these little annoyances, if only to make summer seem that much greater.
Contact Campus Press Staff Jon Swihart at jonathan.swihart@colorado.edu.
