Tips for making the night go well
Who would have thought asking someone out on a date involved risk?
“Take that risk because if you don’t you’ll never know,” said Leslie Kwiatkowski, a representative for It’s Just Lunch, a Denver dating service.
When asking someone on a date, make sure to set an exact time and place. Also be sure to make it something quick and nothing too long and intimate, it is just a first date.
“A public place like a coffee shop is good. Keep it light with minimum pressure,” said Greg Wasleski of theIntelligent Dating Network.
A nice light atmosphere is great, especially if two people want to get to know each other. Great places are local coffee shops, ice-cream shops or a quick breakfast. The idea is to get a quick glimpse of the other person to see if a second date is worthwhile or not.
Since the first date is all about first impressions, it is important to dress appropriately.
Stay away from being too casual – no sweatpants or flip-flops. Put some effort into an outfit. Before the date make sure to look nice without overdressing or looking like someone who just rolled out of bed.
“I hate it when a guy looks better than me on a date. I’m the one who’s supposed to stand out,” said Megan Crawford, a sophomore international affairs major.
For girls, coffee doesn’t mean a dress and heels. Something simple is all it takes, such as jeans and a cute top or even a simple dress. For guys, be cool and casual and don’t overdo the cologne; just one spray is plenty.
While clothes really influence first impressions, it is the conversation during the date that matters.
Make sure to steer away from certain topics like religion, sex, politics and past relationships because these can turn into big arguments and disagreements. It can quickly result in both people feeling uncomfortable.
“I get so pissed when the other person talks about their past relationships. It’s stupid and doesn’t make sense and just makes me mad,” said Cory Chambers, a freshman Spanish major.
Bringing up sex can make the other person feel extremely uncomfortable, especially if it deals with a past relationship. The idea is to meet someone new and to forget the past. Mentioning past flings is also extremely offending to the other person on the date.
The idea of a public atmosphere is to get to know someone in a setting they enjoy or are familiar with. A familiar atmosphere can also help boost a conversation that falls flat.
“If conversation is flat, make conversation with what you have there. If you are at a coffee shop that you like, comment about your favorite thing and ask them what their favorite is. The idea is to work with your environment,” said Wasleski.
If conversation is fluid and the date goes great, a second date should be the next step. Before the end of the first date is the perfect time to ask for a second date.
“Guys tend to miss the ball here, but make sure to schedule a second date. If you know of something coming up like a party or a concert, invite the other person to join,” said Melissa Jannetta, also a representative from It’s Just Lunch.
Setting a second date can involve something more active like a party or a concert. A great thing would be to have the person meet friends.
If the first date is not successful and a second date doesn’t look promising, it can be hard to let the other person down.
“If you’re asked on a second date and don’t see anything working out between you two, just say something about being busy,” said Jannetta.
A good excuse could be along the lines of mentioning a busy couple of weeks and offering to give a call when a time opens up.
“I used to just lie and say I was busy with homework or work or something,” said Jeffrey Moore, a freshman psychology major.
Sometimes the truth tends to be more beneficial and less painful. If things aren’t going to work out just tell the person. It can be a difficult thing to do but it’s less painful than leading someone on.
Contact Campus Press Staff Writer Amanda Bernaudo at Bernaudo@colorado.edu.
