When it comes to the male member size is not as important to women as function
It is a thought that goes through a majority of men’s minds at least once in their life — does the size of my penis really matter?
Penis size in this day and age has begun to be associated with prestige, success, masculinity and a good lover.
The notion that size matters has become of topic of discussion among college students as either a joke or a serious problem that haunts men psychologically each time they think of becoming sexually active or are in the actual act of performing intercourse.
The phrase that could hurt a man more than anything and seriously traumatize him could be as simple as, “Oh, well I thought that since you were tall and well-built, you would be bigger.”
“This is something you never want to tell someone, that their penis is too small, because it could be a genetic problem,” said Dr. Aline Zoldbrod, a licensed psychologist and an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists-certified sex therapist from the Boston area. “It is every man’s fear.”
Zoldbrod said she has definitely seen patients in her practice over the past 15 years who suffer from a complex of thinking they have a small penis and are bad lovers, when they in fact have a normal-sized penis and just need to practice more on how to touch a woman and know her body.
The “normal” size for a penis is 3.4-3.7 inches non-erect and 5.1-5.7 inches when erect. Although the entire male population may not fall into these categories, it does not mean they are not normal and should be prepared for a life of self-consciousness. It simply means these men may have a genetic defect.
Considering this is such a personal topic for men, it could be life-altering when they are told that their penis is too small because a complex may begin to build. Once this occurs, Zoldbrod said she decides to treat her patients as if they have gone through a traumatic experience because this is something that can scar a man for life.
The idea of bigger being better has also started to creep up into relationships when a woman voices her feelings of not being sexually satisfied. Some men take this to mean she is saying he is not big enough, when in all actuality she may be expressing his lack of intuition for her wants and hot spots.
“I think (penis size) could be a barrier in a relationship if you have a small penis because you feel more awkward around a girl when you are trying to hook up,” said Jonathan Moore, a senior political science major. “To a certain extent, I think size matters.”
Kelly Weis, a sophomore international affairs major, wrote in an e-mail response, “I think for a lot of people, sex does play a big part in the functionality between you and your partner. I know that I have had friends in the past who have ended it with guys for that reason (them not being big enough), although I have never encountered it myself.”
Zoldbrod, however, said she would suggest that if a woman has a problem with a man’s penis size, she is probably not the kind of woman a man should want to be with.
“I don’t think that (size) dictates whether a person is a good lover. Someone could be huge and be awful in bed. I think that women do jump to that assumption” that a larger penis equals a better lover, Weis wrote.
There is also this idea of some women, who Zoldbrod refers to as “size queens” who are obsessed with large penises. A word to the wise: If a man happens to encounter one of these women, “they should run the other way,” Zoldbrod said.
“For every woman who wants a man with a big penis, there are at least two women who don’t care and one who is scared of a big penis,” Zoldbrod said.
She believes the notion of a bigger penis equaling a better lover has become ingrained in some men’s heads from many sectors in our society today. One such influence is the pornography industry, in which men and women see a man who is well-endowed and has a rock-solid huge penis all the time.
Also early on in adolescents when young boys happen to glance at the older man’s penis who is standing in the next urinal over from him a complex may start because at the angle the young boy is looking, the next man over does indeed seem to be bigger, but remember – it’s just an angle.
For any man who feels as though he is inadequate because of his penis size, new ads on the television and the Internet are not helping much either. With the arrival of new pills, such as Maxaman, which promises to help a man enlarge the penis by three inches in just six short months or the ever-popular penis pump, men seem to keep seeing the message over and over — a bigger penis is a better one.
Another possibility for some men is to undergo surgery, called phalloplasty, to lengthen their member, which also should not be the answer until each man has fully considered his options and truly has tried to work on being a good lover because even a surgery can go wrong and leave you worse off than you were to begin with.
So if you or any of your friends are contemplating penis enlargement surgery, here is some advice from Zoldbrod: “Men should spend at least seven years practicing being a really, really good lover and should not go to the clinic right away and make a rash decision they may regret in the future.”
If a man seriously feels that he is smaller than normal, Zoldbrod said there are certain steps he should take in order to make himself feel more comfortable. First, he should go to a urologist to see if it is a genetic disorder. Next, a man should consider visiting a therapist who can help treat him and work through this complex. He should avoid “size queens” at all costs and it wouldn’t hurt to pick up a book or two on how to be a better lover because the penis is not the only thing that is making a woman go “Oh!”
For instance, a man who may feel that he is on the small side of penises might be the best lover a woman has ever had because he knew how to sexually arouse her. He made sex more than just him pulsating into her body; he made it about her desires, her hot spots and caressing her body to warm it up and prepare her for the actual act of intercourse.
“Sex is how things feel, not just look or size,” Zoldbrod said.
For more information or any other questions regarding penis size or sex, feel free to visit Dr. Zoldbrod’s Web site.
Contact staff writer Elizabeth Stortroen at Elizabeth.Stortroen@thecampuspress.com.
