Do your roommate’s boyfriend a favor and leave them alone
Living in the dorms as a first year college student is full of exciting encounters: freedom to keep a fridge stocked with drinks that only you like, flirtatious elevator rides and, of course, having the ability to invite someone over to “your place.”
Most dorm rooms are doubles, and most roommates are friends, so what happens when your friend wants to have a guy who is “more-than-a-friend” over to your place?
You leave. Simple as that, sure you can hang out for a while, crack a few jokes, maybe watch an episode of “The Office,” but as soon as the conversation begins to die and he decides to make himself comfortable on your roommate’s bed, it’s time for the goodness of your friendly nature to lead you out the door.
Firstly, upon leaving remember a few things: one being your room key, because the last thing you want to have to do when you come back is knock and interrupt whatever fun might have been going on. Two, if it’s cold out, like it usually is most nights in Boulder, a jacket would be handy, because you really can’t judge how long you are going to stay outside. It could be five minutes; it could be an hour and five minutes, depending on the guy.
Although you may not know exactly how long your room will be occupied, you can’t put a time limit on friendship and it’s not really that difficult to find things to do around campus to pass the time.
Easy outs are heading over to other friends rooms or apartments, eating or even heading to the Rec Center to work out. But if all of your four friends are busy, your running shorts are in the laundry and the burritos from the Darley Grab n’ Go sound less-than-appetizing here are some other ways to occupy yourself.
If you now are not technically a smoker, there couldn’t be a better opportunity than this for you to start. Chain-smoking Camel Lights outside of the dorm is easy, stimulating and convenient in case things get awkward and your roommate sends you an emergency text message requesting you come back up.
Think it’s highly unlikely that you will start smoking cigarettes in the near future?
No problem. Join the circles of smokers for a few minutes, but deny their offer to take a puff. I’m sure they will have some interesting insights on life, and if not then pretend that you were looking for someone else and shyly saunter away.
If roaming around with your iPod gets boring quickly, and your homework doesn’t seem to be calling your name put your headphones and notebooks away and walk over to a gas station for a slushy. While you are there you might even want to pick up some condoms for your sexually active roommate in case your timing is off when you head back. At least you come bearing gifts right?
And finally, if all else fails, do your laundry. There isn’t a single person on campus with all of their clothes clean, and clearly if you are thinking at all about washing and drying your clothes there really isn’t anything else that you could be doing. Grab the Tide and head to the basement.
Your efforts for leaving will be more than greatly appreciated by your roommate, and if she doesn’t immediately offer to take you out to dinner over the weekend or help you with your algebra I’m sure if you ever get the urge to invite that hot guy from Spanish over to your place, she will return the favor.
Contact Campus Press Staff Writer Clare Lane at email@example.com.