Buffs show they can hang with the rest
Lucky?
Lucky is when you find a golden lamp and a genie grants you three wishes. Lucky is when Carrot Top snags the girl over George Clooney. Lucky is when the Amish community funds your rap album.
The Colorado Buffaloes upsetting the No. 3 University of Oklahoma Sooners on Saturday 27-24. lucky?
Yeah. as lucky as your wife leaving you on your birthday and going to Tahiti with your boss.
See what I did there? Did you see the sarcasm?
CU upsetting No. 3 University of Oklahoma on Saturday 27-24 is not quite as lucky.
With every call, with every three-ounce yellow-cloth rag flopping to the turf and with every time a lump of dandruff dressed like an anorexic zebra blew his whistle, the Buffs watched as the game seemed to slowly creep away.
7-7
14-7 Sooners
17-7 Sooners
24-7 Sooners
But the Buffs won anyway, despite the shadow of adversity clouding them all day.
1. Tied 7-7, the Buffs’ kick off landed in Oklahoma’s Juaquin Iglesias hands. Four yards deep in the end zone, Iglesias floated back and forth like a drunk on a unicycle. Then he slapped his cleats directly on the goal line and pedaled back in the end zone.
Safety! 9-7 Colorado and the Buffs get the ball back.
Nope. It was called a touchback, and the Sooners took that drive down the field and made it 14-7.
OK, one bad call. It happens. Maybe the line judge had to mow the field with his nail clippers before the game, or his optometrist is Stevie Wonder. Heck, we’re human.
2. Midway through the fourth quarter, with the Buffaloes driving down the field, Hawkins hits Patrick Williams for a 15-yard gain moving the ball inside the Sooners 40 yard line.
But look there’s a flag.
The official call: “Having some tub of lard trip on number 73 of the offense. That’s a 10 yard penalty.”
Idiot, that’s not even a penalty.
The refs gave nearly as many yards in the second half to the Sooners than the Buffs defense did (45 for the refs, 46 for the Buffs).
And Saturday wasn’t the first time the zebras rained on the Buffs’ parade.
Two weeks ago, Buffs wide receiver Dusty Sprague caught a first down pass against the Florida State Seminoles, as Sprague slid his left foot on the turf.
No. Called incomplete. Coach Hawkins charged 10 yards onto the field and screamed, but the call was never reversed and the Buffs couldn’t win.
First down Buffs.
The call was never reversed, and the Buffs couldn’t win.
So now it is time for the disgruntled fans of CU to join up with Folsom Field security and give the football team back home field advantage so cruelly taken away.
And it only takes a couple slivers to accomplish.
First and foremost, take the student section. Swing them around and place them behind the away sideline. This way, when a CU fan decides to start flinging stuff it can be at a Bob Stoops, or better yet Bill Callahan. Maybe he can threaten to kill someone on national television.
All the while, CU players can watch the crazy fans be discourteous to the other sideline, while they hear the young kids and parents yell things of butterflies and fairies.
Advantage.
Second. Stop the game for streakers and tackle the idiot to escort him out. However, if Folsom Field security set up a communication line for the streakers, it would be a win-win situation.
A streaker could set up a scenario when security sees the Buffs are out of timeouts and the opposing team is setting up for a game winning field goal.
Nothing ices a kicker better than seeing the anatomy of a cold man’s body.
Advantage.
Third. Keep the new rules on the DL so the Buffs can stay in the national limelight, without the word “scandal” charging back.
Finally. How could CU look itself in the mirror after these new changes?
It’s not like we’re video taping play signals or anything.
