Opinion – CU Carnalvoire: Whips, chains and everything explained

The opinions represented in this article do not necessarily represent those of the staff of CUIndependent.com nor any of its sponsors.

Are you into leather whips? How about being tied up with silk scarves and ropes during sex? Have you ever been curious about dominating your partner (in a completely consensual way) while wearing Pooh Bear ears?

Congratulations, you have successfully entered into the world of BDSM, a sexual universe comprised of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism.

While we are busy studying for finals and wasting every dollar on coffee from the Laughing Goat, there is a subculture of BDSM going on around us. And if BDSM workshops are being held in Cristol Chemistry, then this phenomenon is something worth talking about.

By no means am I an experienced “kink” in the bedroom, but after recently attending a BDSM lecture on campus, I have become more familiar, to say the least, with the concept of fetish sex.

When I walked into the BDSM lecture, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought I’d hear about being tied to the bedpost, or maybe meet people who play around with S&M.

I had no idea I would see guys from my SOCY 1001 course shirtless and whipped by a professional dominatrix.

To say the least, I was totally and completely confused. Not only was the material lost on me, but the vocabulary was, as well. So to ease your learning experience about the BDSM scene, I’ve picked the terms that will prove to be most helpful during this guide.

The most important distinction in BDSM lingo is between a fetish and a kink.

For example, if you can only have an orgasm when your partner is wearing fairy wings and screams “Tinkerbell,” then you have a fetish. The more common fetishes include S&M obsessions, parental, medical, etc.

Fetishes say more about one’s sexuality and personality.

However, if you just enjoy the smell of patchouli oil during sex, you just have a kink.

The “scene” is especially important when talking about BDSM culture. A scene can refer to the BDSM culture as a whole, or as an engaging session.

More important than all of this vocabulary, however, is the presence of consent. For a successful scene, parameters must be set beforehand; both parties must verbally consent to what they’re comfortable with doing, and a safe word must be determined.

When everything is consensual, BDSM should not seem so daunting, even to the most conservative relationships.

But the reality is that many of us are not currently taking part in the BDSM scene, therefore making us “vanilla.” We like sex ranging anywhere from missionary to somewhat adventurous.

Apparently, we’re just not kinky.

The BDSM scene has always seemed taboo, or rather a deviation from the sexual norms.

We’re not taught about needle play and choke balls in our middle school or high school health class. For most of us, the only knowledge of BDSM we have is from that infamous scene in Pulp Fiction.

However, for students interested in getting a glimpse of the BDSM lifestyle, Denver offers a lot of opportunities to do so.

BDSM clubs like the Denver Sanctuary hold intro BDSM sessions and play parties. After taking the BDSM 101 course, anyone 21 and up is invited to engage in a play party, where all kinks and fetishes can be explored.

If you’re not too sure about getting physical just yet, there are websites like Fetlife.com that serve as a social network for BDSM folk.

We’re in college now, and this is the prime time to experiment with adventurous, and safe, sex. If we want to experiment with sex in a fraternity house or in the elevator of the Millennium Hotel, we can try it out.

So if you’re into nipple play or handcuffs, the BDSM scene may be worth trying out.

Think of it as a kink: You can be into the BDSM scene right now, but you can step out as soon as it stops being hot.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Lauren Archuletta at Lauren.archuletta@colorado.edu.