Coming out is something that everyone in the gay community faces at one point or another in their life. And although it is an incredibly difficult task, it is also incredibly rewarding.
The CU LGBT Resource Center is hosting various events for national coming out week.
Come see a free screening of “Contracorriente” (Undertow) in the Visual Arts Complex on Wednesday from 7-9 p.m. On Friday, from 2-5 p.m., is the 15th Anniversary Celebration and Open House of the GLBT Resource Center in the new C4C, room N450.
This week is the perfect opportunity for those individuals who have been wanting to come out to their families and friends, but just haven’t found the right time to do so.
National coming out week celebrates coming out not only about sexual orientation, but also sexual identity, gender identity and gender expression. Which means the celebration honors not only being open about your sexual orientation, but also being open about the way you were born, who you feel you are on the inside and how you express your identity.
For most people, coming out is one of the scariest things they’ll ever do in life.
Everyone thinking about coming out has that initial fear of, “What if my friends don’t accept me?” and “What if my family disowns me?”
To most people, these are very serious questions because the risk of losing people they hold dear is terrifying and sad.
Yet, at some point in our lives we realize that we have to take care of our well-being before seeking the approval of others. And being in the closet isn’t conducive to this goal.
I came out for the first time when I was 19 years old. I have experienced the same emotions and difficulties others in the same position face. I know how being in the closet completely drains your energy, personality and overall sense of self.
Coming out is difficult, but it is also an amazing feeling to be out of the closet and comfortable with my sexual orientation.
Keeping who you are a secret from others is detrimental to your health. You feel you cannot adequately express all of your characteristics. It causes numerous mental and physical problems through depression, which is something no college student needs on top of pre-existing stress and anxiety from school and adulthood.
If you have ever tried to tell someone you are gay, you know it is not simple. No matter how determined you may be, sometimes, it can be hard to get the words out. This doesn’t mean that you don’t really want people to know; it’s just as though your mouth is paralyzed with fear. When you feel ready to come out, perhaps try saying something other than “I’m gay.”
When coming out for the first time, saying “I’m gay” can be harder than saying other blatant things about your sexuality. This was the case for me. Though my family never made fun of people who were gay, I knew that other people did.
Imagine someone using the word “straight” the same way the word “bastard” is used. This is the same way the word “gay” is used in our culture, which doesn’t make coming out any easier.
So, if you’re uncomfortable because of the immediate connotations of the word “gay,” instead try telling a friend that you like boys or girls. Or even say that you are attracted to a specific person, if this is the case.
They will more than likely be surprised, but hopefully they will accept it and accept you. In time, telling people that you are gay will be something you are proud to say rather than afraid to say.
After you come out, things really do get better.
Even if people don’t understand it or are surprised by your revelation, most of them will come to look at your sexuality or gender identity as a natural part of who you are.
People who maintain prejudice against members of the gay or gender nonconforming community are not worth your time. Sexuality or gender identity should be no more decisive of character than whether someone is a vegetarian or a meat-eater.
After coming out, I felt as though a 1,000 pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt that I was free to be who I want to be, and I no longer had to hide my personality and be secretive about my identity.
I can be attracted to whom I want. I can dress how I want. Listen to what I want, all without fear of ridicule.
A good place to start after coming out is the LGBT Resource Center on campus, where community members can direct you to new, like-minded friends, support and many gay-friendly campus groups.
For those who have a friend in the gay community who comes out to them this week, or any other time in the future, be accepting. Sexuality or gender identity is not a changing factor in a person’s character. This is the same person you have always been friends with, and this is a crucial time in his or her life. Show love, support and compassion, so you can help them fully accept who they are.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Jordan Crabtree at [email protected].
Great Job on this article Jordan.
My best friend came out a couple of years ago, and though I had always suspected he was, I was relieved that he was able to let the burden of that secret go. I watched as he slowly came out, first to work friends and then close friends then months later to his parents. Eventually he got to the point where his sexuality was nothing more than one of the many defining features making him who he was. He had no shame or fear! I really hope that others in the gay community will be able to have a similar coming out story and I wish them all the best! Thanks for sharing your great outlook on the topic