One-night stands can have a purpose beyond sex

By Jose Plazola in College Life, Columns, Front Page, Lifestyle, Opinion, Sex on Oct 1, 2012 10:14 / comments

The opinions represented in this article do not necessarily represent those of the staff of CUIndependent.com nor any of its sponsors.

The one-night stand is an occurrence synonymous with life as a college co-ed. Many, my self-included, have been in this position. We go out to a house party or to the bars with no intention of going home with someone, but alas, the handsome boy or the dazzling girl across the room catches your eye and you go up to talk to him/her.

Eventually one thing leads to another and before you know it you are waking up the next morning in a stranger’s bed wondering how you ever let yourself get to this point.

(CU Independent Graphic Illustration File/Josh Shettler)

I always found myself thinking the next morning, How am I going to get out of here with out making this already awkward situation even more awkward?

Even worse than having to kick someone out the next morning is being the one kicked out.

One-night stands don’t have to be so cut and dry. Approaching the situation in the right way can make one-night stands fun, less awkward and potentially allow you to run into them on campus without running the other way.

You don’t necessarily need to kick the person out immediately in the morning or be rude about it. Seriously, why would you be rude to someone who gave you instant gratification? From experience, it is way better to be nice about it than being a total jerk. Invite the individual for a cup of coffee or at least walk the person to the door. Exchange numbers and ask to hangout sometime in the near future.

After three years I still run into a guy I had a one-night stand with. CU’s campus is large, yet in a way it is small and avoiding that awkward feeling from the get go is the way to go. I had a one-night stand once that walked with me to get coffee and we still speak to each other every now and then.

I like to look at one-night stands as way to grow as a person and in your relationships. They allow you to figure out what you want and what you don’t want. As one of my really good friends once put it:

They’re good in some cases when you feel like you can have sex and be detached, so you can tell the difference when you really like someone. More like learning the difference between just sex and caring deeply for someone.

I for one became tired of being detached from the people I was having sex with and decided a year ago that I actually wanted to be in a relationship that involved more than just sex. I began to question my life and asked myself is this really the lifestyle that I want to maintain?

In some cases, as with a few of my friends, the one night-stand may actually flourish into a solid, mature friendship.

You are bound to have a one-stand eventually, so approach it with grace. Do not be a complete jerk to your partner in crime — you both got something out of it and for that you should be thankful.

You either just got sex out of it or perhaps this one-night stand was that one-night stand that made you realize you want something more, from them or someone else.

Either way, it serves a purpose.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Jose Plazola at Jose.plazola@colorado.edu.