Opinion: I stopped caring

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I finally began to stop caring about the team I’ve been following for so many years.

While watching the Colorado Buffaloes football team drop their ninth game of the season to the Nebraska Cornhuskers on Friday, I had a moment of clarity where I realized why athletic director Mike Bohn’s decision to retain head coach Dan Hawkins was the wrong choice.

It wasn’t just because of the wins and losses, but because it further alienates the fan base. All of the excitement about the possibility of a new coach disappeared and all there was left was apathy.

I did not care that Folsom Field was essentially a neutral site game because of the amount of Cornhuskers fans filling the stadium. I did not care when Nebraska ran back a punt to take an early 7-0 lead. I didn’t even care when CU started coming back late in the game.

I have never been a die-hard Buffs fan, but I would put myself somewhere in the top 20 percentile compared to my fellow peers. If people like me stop caring, then what about the rest of the fan base?

I stood in the stands for the first half of the Missouri game earlier this year and was amazed by how few students were paying attention to the game. It was as though everybody had gone to the game simply because they had nothing better to do. These were the same fans who, only weeks earlier, were screaming their throats hoarse before the season-opener against the Colorado State Rams. These were the same fans who patiently waited for this season because this was the year that the tide was going to turn. This was supposed to be the year where Hawkins’ recruiting and rebuilding efforts were going to yield results on the field.

But it did not happen, and so my attention turned toward the future and to the person who could come in and get the wins that have eluded Hawkins.

I went to the games, watched the young talent on the field and fantasized about what a change in coaching philosophy could bring to this team. Many fans were waiting to go to the Nebraska game not because they were excited about playing their cross-state rivals, but because they thought, as did I, it would have been Hawkins’ final game. We could bid the Hawk farewell and start dreaming about the future.

I have said numerous times that I like Hawkins and I did not wish for his firing because of a personal animosity for the guy, who some fans have referred to as “Talkins” for his lofty expectations but painful underachievement. I wanted him gone so some kind of new energy could be injected into a program that is quickly replacing Iowa State as the bottom feeder of the Big 12 North. Bohn’s decision to let Hawkins stick around for one more year extinguished all of that excitement and I have found myself unable to find any excitement about the future of the program.

I won’t be at the Spring Game in April, circle the opening of fall camp on my calendar or buy tickets to games next year when I am no longer a student. I’m not going to stop supporting the team because I want to protest, but rather because I just don’t have much to cheer about anymore. I simply won’t care enough. Perhaps I am alone or even in a very small minority.

Maybe CU fans have come to expect mediocrity and will continue to show up to games and buy merchandise because their expectations have lowered to the point where they don’t care as much about wins, bowl games and conference championships. If that is the case, then the athletic department is fine, people will keep going to games and donations will come in just enough to keep the program afloat. But if there are more people like me and the passion of the fan base begins to die, then the apathy will spread much further than the lines of this article.

Folsom Field will grow emptier with every game, opposing fans will turn our stadium into the least intimidating environment in the Big 12 Conference, and there won’t even be people at games chanting “fire Dan Hawkins!” because they will stay home.

Of course, I could be wrong. Hawkins could make some staff changes and his players will be a year older and more experienced. They could win enough games to go to a bowl game. Just don’t expect to see me stick around to witness it.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Ryan Callahan at Ryan.callahan@colorado.edu.