How to: break up with someone
Ending a relationship can be a very daunting and gruesome process. While it may be difficult, there are some ways to make the situation less painful.
“The reason it’s so hard to break up with someone is twofold. One is you know that you are going to be hurting someone’s feelings, and we have been socialized to be benevolent,” said relationship expert Cooper Lawrence in her article “Breaking up is hard to do.”
Some may not find breaking up to be hard, and the difficulty is often determined by the length of the relationship.
“When I broke up with a girl, it was a long relationship so it was harder,” Brian Schneider-Turk, a freshman architectural engineering major said.
It’s very difficult to cut ties with someone after spending months or years with them. The best way to handle this situation is by being honest.
“I like to be truthful and just tell them things are not working out,” Leslie Kwiatkowski, a representative for the Denver dating service called It’s Just Lunch said.
The worst thing to do is to lie to someone. If a relationship is not working out because of something specific, tell them. Although the truth can hurt, it can benefit them in a future relationship.
Talking about a breakup is key, which means don’t use technology as a way to communicate problems; it makes things ugly and immature.
“In middle school someone broke up with someone over AIM, and she was mad. Face to face is the best way to do it; it’s more personal,” Amy Hoffman, a junior physics major said.
Never break up with someone over the phone or over the internet. Tell them to their face without putting them down and avoid all clichés. Just explain the issue.
“Say why the relationship is not working for you,” Lawrence said.
Also, keep an eye on the timing. For instance, don’t break up with a person on a significant day like a birthday or after something troubling.
Choosing where to break up with someone is important, too. It is best to avoid somewhere public like a restaurant.
Once a breakup is over, it can be difficult to decide what to do afterwards. There are several options ranging from never speaking again to being friends, which is the option most prefer.
“I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s cool if they are,” Hoffman said.
While coping with a difficult breakup, it can be tough to be friends almost instantaneously. The healthiest thing to do is just take a break from that person and focus on the self because that’s the most important thing.
Contact Campus Press Staff Writer Amanda Bernaudo at Bernaudo@colorado.edu.