Bud Buff: The Greenest Green

By Winston Merry Featherbottom III in Entertainment, Front Page on Feb 16, 2012 9:10 / comments

With a giant Mastiff puppy named Ellaphant waiting to greet me at the door, I knew that The Greenest Green and I were going to get along just fine. While many dispensaries in Boulder have a wellness center vibe, The Greenest Green is a weed store pure and simple. Black lights, great music, and plasma screens place the patient in an environment where being a stoner is warmly embraced.

All of my marijuana is legal, officer (CU Independent)

The prices at The Greenest Green used to exceed the average student’s budget, but patients can now find a heady selection of herb for less than $15 a gram. They price their herb based on yield and difficulty to produce and strains like their Sour Diesel are consistently potent, available, and cheap.

The Greenest Green still has the Private Reserve strains that cost more and are fun to look at, but their cheaper strains are no less effective.

Sometimes I just want to sit on my couch, pretend that it ate me and not move for ten hours. Bubba Kush, a strong indica, will force you into that fantasy whether you want it or not. Euphoric, giggly, but extremely catatonic, the Bubba Kush smokes like a traditional Kush strain, leaving your body numb and your head clear. For $14 a gram and $45 an eighth, smoke this Kush and you won’t be thinking about anything other than how good your snacks would be if the kitchen wasn’t so far away.

Lemon G-13 currently stands out on the shelves for the same prices as Bubba Kush. A pungent hybrid that has an intense cerebral buzz, Lemon G-13 delivers a clear and relaxing head high with just enough of a body buzz to keep you on the couch. The smoke itself is light and smells reminiscent of Pine-Sol. Load a bowl in your bong, sit back and wait to realize that that music is just in your head.

Lemon G-13, an indica/sativa hybrid (CU Independent)

The Greenest Green also has a large selection of quality hash oil products. They have one of the largest selections available with 10 different types this week, ranging from $30-$70 a gram. When I buy oil I like to spoil myself, so when possible I would go for the more expensive concentrates such as the Lemon G-13 at the highest end of the spectrum or the Tangensia at $60. Often you can purchase half grams of the oils when available.

In other stores, medical marijuana patients can spend the majority of their time in the waiting room while budtenders fumble with scales. I’m an impatient person, especially when I haven’t gotten high yet. The Greenest Green gets you in, out and on your way to getting stoned. They have their entire product inventory pre-weighed and bar-coded, which does mean you can’t custom weigh your product, but the process is much faster.

If you do go browse The Greenest Green, make sure to check out their Facebook page first. They post daily deals that won’t be advertised in the store. While on the page, check and see if there is a strain worth investing in. Every day their page is updated with a full menu, including ounce specials, which can be a great opportunity to stock up for those days when classes seem too daunting and medical marijuana is just the mental break you need.

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