Phone sex: A ringing orgasm

By Hannah Flink in Opinion, Sex on Sep 9, 2011 3:06 / comments

The opinions represented in this article do not necessarily represent those of the staff of CUIndependent.com nor any of its sponsors.

Phone sex. It may not be the best kind of sex, but when sexual relief is needed in drastic times, it isn’t that bad of an option.

(CU Independent illustration/Josh Shettler)

If you are in a long-distance relationship, like many college students are these days, pay close attention to what you are about to read. Phone sex may be exactly what you need to put the fire back into your love life.

The fact is, sex has taken over technology. From chat rooms to pornography, sex can be found at the click of a button. Sex can also be found on the other side of the dial tone.

We’ve all heard of phone sex, whether in an awkward movie scene you are watching with your parents or one of those “I wanna hear your voice” commercials. It’s pretty simple: a phone, you, your partner, and gettin’ down with your bad self. It’s easy to experiment with.

Although those 1-800 hot lines may seem fun and all, it is very rare to find someone who isn’t perverted. If you want to try the hot lines, go for it, but not if you’re looking for the real, intimate, and most incredible phone sex there is. My advice? Wait until you have that special someone who is miles away and you both miss each other in that dirty, sensual, sexual way.

I am not one of the lucky ones out there in a relationship, but I have past experience. Being apart from someone you care for and are attracted to straight up sucks. Whether it’s a month or even a year, it’s hard to keep your mind from wandering somewhere naughty.

Phone sex can seem awkward at first, but like I said, doing it with someone you are close to makes it an exciting and fun experience rather than a self-conscious phone call full of mumbling.

At first, phone sex may not seem as good as the real thing, but just like all sexual acts, letting go is the first part; don’t be afraid to express your sexuality. In most cases your partner will feel more comfortable if you open up first.

Getting over the awkwardness of being by yourself, naked in your room, is something you will have to do right away. Phone sex doesn’t have to be like the movies. There doesn’t need to be tons of screaming (unless you’re kinky like that) or crazy faces. No one is watching, so do what will give you the most intimacy and the best connection to your partner despite the distance. Let it be a release.

If you really want to take it to the next level or maybe if you are already a pro, get some toys involved. If you need some vibrator suggestions, my article on “back to school shopping” can lead you in the right direction. If you’re a girl, this option is easier for you than if you’re a dude. For guys, your best friend JILL (your hand) and some old fashioned lube work just fine.

Remember, phone sex isn’t about just one of you, it’s about creating that experience of being together, but over the phone. And don’t worry, it may take a couple of times to get over the weird dialogue: “Uh…yeah…so what are you doing to yourself now, uh…”

After you get a little more comfortable, you may find that phone sex with your distant partner is the perfect solution for your sexual tension.

You can’t judge it until you try it.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Hannah Flink at Hannah.flink@colorado.edu.