Confessions of an escort girl: On sex, love and all the naughty bits in between

(CU Independent/Adam Milner)

Meet Nikki, a self proclaimed “country girl” born and raised in Colorado. She graduated from CU last year with a degree in psychology and regularly works and volunteers with children. You can find lots of girls like Nikki all over the college town of Boulder. I happened to find her on Craigslist’s Adult Services.

“A little sweetness goes a long way,” she wrote on her ad.

Her bubbly personality saturated every last detail of her profile, complete with Xs and Os.

Nikki has been working in “the industry” on and off since she was 16-years-old. She is now a resource manager working with 4 to 6 girls at a time, selling their “company” for big money all around the Denver area and Boulder.

“This is not full time by any means,” she said.

When Nikki is not out on her “dates,” she works part-time as a bookkeeper and administrator. As the oldest of six kids, she also strives to set herself as an example by volunteering her time at church and the non-profit she works with.

She tells me that she wants to open up her own non-profit for underprivileged kids in single-parent homes someday, or perhaps become a preschool teacher or a youth minister.

“I want to be something more than what money can give,” she said.

But for right now, she tells me, it’s all about the money.

Sex is my business, and business is good

Did you know that a girl working part-time as an escort can make just as much, if not more, than prestigious lawyers and doctors?

According to Nikki, you can make what you earn in corporate America over two weeks in a single day, just by seeing two guys on a non full-service level. Full-service providers, she explains, sell straight up sexual intercourse, as opposed to non full-service providers, who sell everything but, such as their company for dates.

“The most I’ve made in one day was $6,200 between three dates,” Nikki said. “Once one of my girls pulled in $56,000 from just one guy.”

For Nikki and her girls, there are no pimps or agencies involved. The hard-earned cash is all theirs.

All the girls she works with act as independent contractors who come to her for her resources, guidance and knowledge of the market and industry.

“My job is to find the best places and resources for them to get the most out of what we’re marketing,” Nikki said. “The girls and I travel and we choose states where the economy is still steady and growing.”

In return for Nikki’s help, they pay her a flat rate to post their services onto Craigslist for each of these areas. They’ve been all over the country including New York, California and even Hawaii.

Big bucks, independence and travel? Sign me up, please?

What you didn’t know about prostitution

“I help men get a better understanding of sex through women,” Nikki said.

Nikki said it’s not just about the sex itself, but about anything sexual in general.

“I should be a sex therapist,” she joked.

I’ve heard before that men who see prostitutes don’t just come for the sex, rather, they also seek all other aspects of female companionship.

Speaking with Nikki gave me further insight on the matter.

“They also look for uplift and reassurance. Just as human beings, they need it. You need a hug every once in a while, you need to be loved by the opposite sex or feel some kind of compassion,” Nikki said.

This girl is all about the uplift, her sunny disposition is infectious and I love it. I’m sure her customers do, too.

She also clued me in on all the different tiers of prostitution, ranging from “street walkers” to upscale escort girls. According to Nikki, there is “zero” street work. Colfax used to be prime hooker territory, but hasn’t seen the high level of street work it originally became famous for in years. Now, especially in Boulder, it’s all upscale, behind-closed-doors work.

Before I talked to Nikki, I got this impression that prostitutes pretty much gave up every last ounce of their dignity in order to make money, rendering their decision power worthless.

However, at least in the upper tiers of prostitution, the girls pretty much have the say on everything, from the guys they choose, what they want to do and how much they’ll be getting paid for it.

“I’m picky,” Nikki said. “I just don’t see anyone. If I don’t like the guy, I won’t go through with the date. I’d be sweet and wouldn’t put him down, but I’d wean him to another girl who could better suit him and make him happier.”

As far as the sex (or non-sex) goes, each girl decides on her own boundaries. Some don’t even provide full-service at all, rather, they may simply provide their company for dinners and dates.

So how much cash is being thrown down for these girls?

“It’s however much you want to make it. If they can’t pay that, then they’ll negotiate for whatever else,” she said. “The ball is always on my court.”

The freakiest dudes in all the nation

Of course, I had to ask Nikki about her strangest requests. She laughed and talked about golden Showers, strap-ons and the like.

She did say the freakiest guys she’s ever seen throughout the country are in Boulder. Apparently, the white, older, hippie business guys are the ones to watch out for.

“They have the weirdest requests,” Nikki said. “One guy wanted me to… What exactly do you call the opposite of a Golden Shower? I can’t even bring myself to talk about it, let alone do it.”

She visibly struggled to find the words.

“I can’t shit on anybody, sorry,” Nikki said. “And I won’t, plain and simple.”

Word to the wives
The majority of Nikki’s customers are married men who have been strictly with their wives for years or who have not had partners who are very sexual or open.

“I give them something to go home and love their wives better with,” she said.

I was intrigued. Could she convince me that prostitution could actually be conducive for a man’s love for his wife?

“It’s men’s nature to want variety. It’s their animal instinct to breed with the most young and desirable women. It goes way back and love has nothing to do with it.”

Nikki first explains that sex and love are two completely different things (for men anyway). According to Nikki, the guy has that one girl he loves, the one he marries. However, he also has his sexual needs.

“He loves that one girl, but if he’s not getting what he needs or is deprived, he’ll become bitter towards her,” Nikki said.

The idea is that once Nikki helps relieve these needs, it allows him to return to the one he is married to and carry on with their relationship, bitterness-free.

“They might feel guilty, but it’s in their nature and they really need the sex. If their wives can’t give it to them, they feel badly about it,” Nikki said.

Nikki said she believes that it’s human nature.

“I also feel guilty to a certain extent, but really if the woman can’t give a man what he needs, he’ll go out and look for it elsewhere, plain and simple. And that’s where girls like me come in and give it to them,” Nikki said.

It’s not purely about sex, though. Nikki said it’s also about the comfort her and her girls can give.

“It’s not always physical, though,” she reminds me, “It’s also about uplift and reassurance.”

The dichotomy of the “wife and the mistress” came to mind.

Does it really all boil down to biological and evolutionary factors? Is this something we’ll all simply have to come to terms with?

The good, the bad and the ugly

“There really isn’t a least favorite aspect of the job,” Nikki said, “I love it all.”

For Nikki, she said the job isn’t just about good pay, she genuinely enjoys it.

“It’s like my dating scene. I pick and choose. I love older guys, men of power, well-dressed and charismatic. I’m completely engaged when we have fun and am totally enthralled by it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it. There’s no shame in what I do, I genuinely love everything I do.”

To understand her passion, you also have to understand her philosophy. Nikki said she truly believes in doing what she does to not only bring uplift to her clients, but also to herself and her girls.

“Girls might feel belittled, degraded or disrespected if they let themselves. If they put themselves in that position, then they absolutely will feel lesser for what they do,” Nikki said.

Nikki said she only wants to be around girls who enjoy the job for what it is.

“If at the end of the day you’re going to go home and feel like shit, then I don’t want to be a part of it. You have to genuinely like making the guys feel better,” Nikki said. “Then you feel better. It’s a mutual thing.”

However, with the good also comes the bad.

“I’ve been robbed, arrested, taken advantage of and hit. It’s all part of the risks. There are no policies and regulations for prostitution. It’s a free-for-all,” she said.

There are some security measures they try to enact when they can, but ultimately the security measures can only do so much.

“In big cities with all girls and no men, we have security people watching on the outside. But when you’re alone in a room with a guy, it doesn’t matter what kind of security you have. It’s you and him,” she said.

Nikki and her girls take precautions and bring mace, switchblades and even take self-defense classes. She tells them that if it comes down to money, they should rather get ripped off than get raped or beaten.

“You can replace that money,” Nikki said, “but you can’t replace yourself.”

Then with the bad comes the ugly.

Nikki revealed to me a darker part of her career.

“I’ve been caught for prostitution and I’ve had a police officer come in and take complete advantage of me, and then turn around and arrest me for it,” she said.

The experience of having a police officer violate her was one that Nikki won’t forget soon, if ever, she said.

“At that point in my life, I would have felt better getting raped and robbed by somebody else, but having a police officer…”

She said when the officer took her to court for prostitution she hired a good lawyer and got her case dismissed in court because of the fact that she had been raped. She said the officer didn’t confess, but all the evidence was there and he couldn’t deny it.

“But it’s not just him, it’s hundreds of officers taking advantage of girls,” Nikki alleged.

Legitimizing prostitution

“If I would change anything about my job, it would be to make it legal,” Nikki said.

Nikki said she believes that prostitution is illegal for the simple fact that the government cannot tax it.

“I just feel like there’s so much that’s OK and that’s legal that is way worse than this,” she said. “If it’s consensual, the guy wants to do it and the girl wants to do it, who is the government to say it’s not OK?”

I can sympathize with her on this. It’s difficult to work and pay tax dollars just to have a police officer rape you, turn around and arrest you for it, and have the law punish you for other acts that have been completely consensual.

“It’s absolutely ridiculous that they can’t just let us do what we want, and because they can’t tax it they’re going to set up task forces that cost millions of dollars of tax money to stop something consenting adults want to do together,” Nikki said.

Parting our ways

Despite everything, Nikki said she has no regrets.

“Anything that’s ever happened to me has made me stronger and built character,” she said.

It has helped her go forward and teach other girls in the industry to help them realize what it really is, what it can be and what they may get out of it.

“I’m here now in my place in the world to help people. No matter if it’s the children in the non-profits that I work for; to the women I hire to work for me. Ultimately the goal is to help them help the world.”

When I first met Nikki, I had my doubts and my skepticism about the things she’s said and the things she believes in. Was she really so different from myself in those respects?

Through our conversation, I realized that she is just like any other girl who channels her heart and soul into everything she does, including her own career.

I got up to shake her hand, but instead she grabbed me and gave me a hug. She was happy, infectiously so, and all she wanted to do was to make others happy, too.

At that point, it was hard not to believe in her.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Natalie Bui at Natalie.bui@colorado.edu.

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