(CU Independent graphic/Adam Milner)
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You have a hot date tonight, panties-optional hot. To kick things up a notch in the boudoir, you spray on your sexiest perfume, shave all the way up and… reach for the genital bleach?
That’s right, ladies. Thanks to My New Pink Button, we can now dye our pa-cha-chas pink! In fact, the stylishly jarred “beauty product” comes in four different shades.
“Marilyn” is the lightest shade of pink followed by the richer “Bettie” shade. Then there is “Audry” red and a “Ginger” shade, perhaps for the “spicier” females.
My New Pink Button was created and developed by Karan Mari, a Paramedical Esthetician with 25 years in the specialized field of vagina color, according to the Web site. The dye is specifically marketed toward women who have become “discolored” downstairs, although it can also be used on nipples and male genitalia. (So we can match?)
In perusing the Web site, I first hoped that there were no before-and-after photos. Fortunately, there were none, however, there was also no list of ingredients. In the FAQ section, it simply reads that “the ingredients are all individually FDA approved for consumption,” and that “like any other cosmetic product, if you experience discomfort, discontinue use.”
The best part of the research was the video of “doctors” endorsing the product to a live audience.
“The dyes can be very acidic and very irritating,” warns the lady doctor. “The thing to know here is,” she continues, “is that as we age and go through different stages of our lives, from pregnancy, to getting old and getting menopause, we change down there was well. And it’s OK.”
So basically, it’s OK for you to apply acidic dyes to your vagina, because it’s all part of getting older. Like Botox, I guess.
My initial reaction to My New Pink Button was that of repulsion. First of all, “bleach” and “genital” should never be in the same sentence, especially if the manufacturer refuses to reveal the components of said bleach. When a clear danger is intentionally hidden from consumers, I can only assume that I can get the same results from applying cyanide.
It’s also sad to know that women have become so self-conscious of their bodies that they feel that even their most intimate parts must be altered and “beautified.”
However, I suppose this whole ordeal is not so ridiculous once I think about it. Current pa-cha-cha beauty practices include the ripping out of the hair by means of molten viscosity. Is this just taking the next step?
On one hand, I can understand a girl’s need to feel good about her body and her desire to do what she can to get there. On the other hand, I think this is a sign that we’re probably watching way too much porn.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Natalie Bui at Natalie.firstname.lastname@example.org.
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