Flowers, chocolate and sex

Historical origins of Valentine’s Day shine through

Nothing screams “I expect sex” like Valentine’s Day.

Yes, I said it.

Gasp.

Horror.

Ostracism.

Hit me with what you will, but Valentine’s Day still sucks.

I was unlucky enough to have to go to the grocery store on Valentine’s Day Eve, and there were

carts full of pink and red roses, chocolates, those obnoxious stuffed animals and cheesy Hallmark cards as far as the eye could see.

Aside from around Christmas time, I have never seen such a run on useless holiday crap.

I know what you are thinking. That shrew must be bitter because she doesn’t have anyone to share this “special day” with, right?

But I ask all of you relationship people: Do you honestly think those disgusting, chalky candy hearts with the oh-so-deeply-moving bumper sticker messages that say “B Mine” and “I Heart U” adequately express what you feel for another person?

Face it. You go through the motions on Valentine’s Day because you have to.

Your significant other can say all the wrong things and be a complete jerk the other 364 days out of the year as long as there’s an expensive dinner reservation and a pretty flower ready for Feb. 14. And not only that, but you don’t even have to play your cards right when you’re walking your date to the door, do you?

You’re already in, in more ways than one.

It’s the unspoken but faithfully followed rule of Valentine’s Day. Sex is guaranteed for the boyfriend who shows even the slightest bit of effort, such as a nice card.

Valentine’s Day is centered on an expectation of sex, and history is on my side for anyone who wants to argue with me. The day has its origins as a Roman rite of passage during which boys would draw from a box, much like a lottery, the name of a teenage, virginal girl who would then be his sex slave for one year.

How romantic.

And not very much has changed since then. Men express their love by breaking the bank, and women are pressured into satisfying a sexual obligation.

That’s little more than prostitution.

And what kind of pressure does Valentine’s Day put onto the relationship itself? There’s so much anticipation that if everything isn’t perfect – the reservations are canceled unexpectedly, there’s a bee that has taken up residence in the flowers, she’s on her period – practically the whole year is ruined.

Don’t let all the things you want to say or do for someone build up for a whole year. You can’t even be certain of what will happen tomorrow.

If you really care about someone, Valentine’s Day is just another day. It’s just another day, and not the only day, to let someone know what they mean to you.

Contact Editor in Chief Cassie Hewlings at hewlings@colorado.edu.